Matric Painting Exam

INSTRUCTIONS:

SECTION A IS COMPULSORY. YOU MUST CHOOSE TO ANSWER SECTION B OR SECTION C.

A MULTIPLE CHOICE QUESTION IS ONE THAT HAS CHOICES CALLED A,B,C ETC. (IE: D,E,F). CHOOSE ONLY ONE LETTER, AND WRITE IT ON YOUR
ANSWER SHEET (PIECE OF PAPER).

A THOROUGH KNOWLEDGE AND UNDERSTANDING OF THE SUBJECT WILL COUNT IN YOUR FAVOUR. (IE: SHOW YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON)

DO NOT ATTEMPT TO RULE A MARK MARGIN. PAPER IS SUPPLIED WITH A
PRE-RULED MARGIN.

QUESTIONS ARE ON THIS SET OF PAGES. ANSWER ON THE LINED PAPER.

THIS IS NOT A HIGHER GRADE PAPER, SO DON'T ASK.

POOR GRAMMAR AND SPELLING WILL NOT MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION.
(HINT: KEEP WORDS TO A MINIMUM AND AVOID COMPOUND SENTENCES)

NO TALKING DURING THE EXAM

NO COPYING

DO NOT ASK YOUR TEACHER FOR ANSWERS

THESE INSTRUCTIONS ARE NOT QUESTIONS, SO DO NOT ATTEMPT TO
ANSWER THEM. QUESTIONS START ON THE NEXT PAGE.

ASSUME ALL PAINT TO BE IN THE LIQUID PHASE, UNLESS OTHERWISE
SPECIFIED.

A POCKET ENGLISH AND/OR ENGLISH-AFRIKAANS DICTIONARY MAY BE
USED IN THE EXAM TO LOOK UP HARD WORDS.

NO BRUSHES OR PAINT MAY BE BROUGHT INTO THE EXAM ROOM.

PERHAPS YOU SHOULD RE-THINK YOUR CAREER CHOICE.

GOOD LUCK, YOU'LL NEED IT.

SECTION A: GENERAL

QUESTION ONE: Multiple Choice Questions

1.1 A professional painter uses paint for?

A) Painting walls as instructed by employers
B) Graffiti
C) Colouring the pool water
D) A drink when it's hot whilst laying bricks

1.2 Which paint is superior?

A) Green paint
B) Blue paint
C) Yellow paint
D) All paint is created equal

1.3 If the bristles of your brush get too stiff for decent painting, should you?

A) Paint with your tongue
B) Get a new brush
C) Use the cat
D) Go to the wardrobe and use new, priceless, expensive velvet coat.

1.4 When told to paint a wall green, should you?

A) Paint it blue
B) Not paint it
C) Paint it green
D) Paint it black

1.5 When left with excess paint, should you?

A) Sell it to credulous Westerfordians as a drug
B) Water the plants with it
C) Pour it down the drain
D) Return it, safely sealed to your foreman

1.6 Which is most likely to bring bad luck or an accident?

A) A cat walking under your ladder
B) A person crossing the path
C) You walking across the path, seeing a cat, and hiding under the ladder.
D) Someone shaking the ladder violently while you are on it.

1.7 If you climb to the top of a ladder and find you have left your tin of paint behind, should you?

A) Get a fellow worker to throw the open tin to you
B) Get a fellow worker to kick the open tin to you
C) Dip your brush in it from long range by dropping it in the tin
D) Climb down and get it

1.8 If your paintbrush falls in the paint tin, should you?

A) Pour out all the paint
B) Get a new brush
C) Put your hand in to get it, while wearing new white overalls
D) Pour the paint into an empty tin and then get the brush

1.9 If you get thirsty while painting, do you?

A) Drink some paint
B) Get a quick drink from the tap
C) Drink the turpentine
D) Slip out while the foreman isn't looking and go down the road to buy a whiskey

1.10 If you feel like playing a practical joke on the foreman, who has a very short temper, do you?

A) Pour paint on him as he walks below
B) Paint his overalls before he puts them on
C) Put pink paint in the blue paint tins
D) Try to suppress this feeling and don't play a joke

1.11 Is an overcoat?

A) An item of clothing
B) A second layer of paint
C) A first layer of paint
D) a and b above

1.12 Which of the below is appropriate lunchtime behaviour?

A) Dipping the dog in paint for fun
B) Playing rugby with the open tin of paint
C) Participating in intelligent conversation over food and drink
D) Raiding the house's fridge
E) Making long-distance calls with the house phone

1.13 Which of the following is a good reason to wear a hard hat on a paint job?

A) Falling paint from ceilings
B) Falling ceilings
C) Falling paint tins dropped by stupid colleagues
D) Falling scaffolding
E) Falling stupid colleagues
F) Since all of the above are unlikely, none of the above

1.14 A paint gun is used to?

A) Paint walls
B) Spray water at passers-by
C) Spray alcohol down your throat
D) Do armed robberies of paint shops

1.15 If you swallow paint, do you?

A) Drink a beer to remove the taste
B) Call a doctor
C) Offer some to your colleagues
D) Forget about it and continue work

1.16 If a fellow worker gets a paint tin stuck on his head, do you?

A) Chop his head off in order to remove the tin more easily
B) Recycle the tin (and the worker)
C) Wait for the can to rust off
D) Hang him out the window until the can comes off
E) Use a blowtorch to remove it
F) Paint a face on the tin so it looks like his head
G) None of the above

QUESTION TWO: Short Questions

2.1 Assuming you have no idea how to plaster a wall, should you, when asked to paint an unplastered wall, attempt to plaster it?
2.2 On Monday you must paint the Northern wall of a house green. On Tuesday you must paint an identical Southern wall green. How, if at all, does the technique differ on Tuesday?
2.3 Should you mix paint in a cement mixer?
2.4 What colour do you get if you mix black paint and white paint?
2.5 What is your favourite paint colour?
2.6 Is it easier to transport paint with or without a container?

QUESTION THREE: Answer True or False

3.1 Painting windows black usually defeats their purpose.
3.2 You should autograph your work.
3.3 It is not clever to climb a ladder with loose steps.
3.4 Wet paint is almost invariably wet.
3.5 With a bit of luck, you can catch a fish in a tin of paint.
3.6 You should never be careful when working indoors.

QUESTION FOUR: Mathematical and Logical- Read Questions Carefully

4.1 If you pour paint out of a 2-litre tin onto the ground, and 0.0002347 litres remain in it, what is the volume of the tin? Please note that this question is purely hypothetical- you should never pour paint onto the ground.

4.2. You have painted the first half of a wall the wrong colour. Before you start again, should you tippex out the wrong part?

4.3 You are in charge of paint supplies. You are standing in a paint store with money in your pocket. What is your most likely reason for being there?

4.4 Arrange the following into order of application: Overcoat; Undercoat; Middle Coat.

4.5 You are told to paint a sightscreen for use in night cricket, which is played with a white ball. However, you are not told what colour to paint it, and your employer has gone to Bermuda. Use logic and the lateral thinking that you have learnt this year to determine what colour you should paint it.

QUESTION FIVE: Graphical

Figure One:

Figure One above is a work/time graph of a painter attempting to paint a wall in Cornwall. There is NO error in the figure. Answer the following questions about the graph.

5.1 At the end of 4 hours, how much work has been done?
5.2 What is the rate of work? (units are not required)
5.3 After 5 hours, has the painter started yet?
5.4 Would you describe the painter as lazy?
5.5 Would you ever work like this painter?
5.6 Suggest two things the painter may have been doing during this time.
5.7 Give the equation of the above graph in the form work=k

QUESTION SIX: Diagrams

6.1 Draw a neat, labelled diagram of a puddle of paint, in any shape that takes your fancy.Give the equation of the tangent to the puddle at any two points (only jokes). Label the diagram "A puddle of paint" and write any colour of your choice in the middle. You need not colour it in.

6.2 Draw a cross-sectional diagram of a portion of wall with an undercoat and overcoat on it. It need not be drawn to scale, so ensure that you show all the layers clearly.

SECTION B: EXTERIOR PAINTING

QUESTION SEVEN: Multiple Choice

7.1 When having lunch on the ledge of a tall building, do you?

a) Throw cans of paint to workers above and below
b) Pour paint off the edge for fun
c) Do gravity tests by jumping off the edge
d) Kill birds by throwing brushes at them
e) None of the above

7. 2 How do you descend after a day's painting on top of a skyscraper?

a) Call the fire brigade to bring a long ladder
b) Go down the lift or stairs
c) Hire a helicopter to fetch you
d) Jump

7. 3 If you fall off the scaffolding, should you?

a) Try to fall on your head
b) Take someone with you
c) Finish painting the wall on your way down
d) Say your prayers

7.4 A face brick wall should be?

a) Laminated
b) Varnished
c) Plastered
d) None of the above

SECTION C: INTERIOR PAINTING

QUESTION EIGHT: Multiple Choice

8.1 How do you protect the carpet when painting indoors?

a) Put newspapers on the floor
b) Change the gravity so that the paint falls upwards
c) Give the carpet a protective coat of paint
d) Put clothes down from the nearest wardrobe
e) Rip the carpet up
f)  Let the paint drip, and then paint the rest of the carpet the same colour.

8.2 You have painted yourself into a corner when painting a floor with an extended roller. You are on the ground floor. Do you?

a) Walk calmly over the wet paint to the door
b) Take off your shoes, and walk calmly over the wet paint to the door
c) Lay clothes down and create a path to walk on
d) Jump over the 20 metres of wet paint
e) Wait for the paint to dry
f) Climb out of the window behind you

8.3 When painting a wall high up?

a) Stand on the couch
b) Use a ladder
c) Hang from the ceiling like a bat
d) Keep jumping up and doing one stroke on the way down

8.4 If you are watching the TV while painting a ceiling, should you?

a) Watch the midday soaps
b) Watch the U/21 North West-Griquas game
c) Watch your own videos
d) Watch DIY programmes
e) Get your mind back on the job and get the TV out of the room

THE END

The joy of painting
On a humid, overcast day
In suburbia
In your overalls
Is great

Anon-1997

By Richard Asher. With thanks to Andrew Haylett, Scott Lowry, Stuart Winter and Bruce Robinson.